Dance of Joy?

It is 5 days past my last treatment, and I still can't do the dance of joy.  I hurt. This chemo really sucks.  I keep telling myself that was the last one, and that this will go away, and maybe not come back.  I know it will take awhile, but this is just silly!  Anyway, surgery is March 10th in Neenah, WI.  I also found out I am a genetic freak of nature.  I have a chemical change in my DNA they found when they were looking for a mutation in the BRAC1 gene.  The lab has never seen a change in this region of the DNA EVER.  I am the first one.  Cool, huh?  They don't know if it will predispose me to cancer, but that doesn't matter right now.  Last time I checked, I already have cancer.  If they want some other organs later, they can have them.  They know it came from my mom or dad, and right now they are looking into the written information I gave them.  If they want more DNA, they will contact me.  I guess that would be from mom and dad.  Anyway, they have a genetic puzzle to solve, and I am happy to have provided it to them!

I read a great book last week called When God and Cancer Meet, by Lynn Eib.  Best thing I could have done, and wish I would have taken the time to read the book when it was first given to me.  She has another one I will purchase about living in the shadow of cancer.  She is an amazing woman, cancer survivor, and patient advocate.  I highly recommend her work to all.  It was so good to read my own words in that text.  Really, really good.

I will sign off now, as my hands are killing me!  Thanks for all the prayers, I feel them every day.
Love, Chris

Getting Ready

Here it is, 3 days after treatment #7, and I am at home.  I was at home yesterday, too. I guess you can only dump poison into your system for so long and not feel it.  Flu-like symptoms were definitely side effects of the Taxol.  I have been down since Wednesday night, and am just now starting to feel human. Only one more treatment to go, but forgive me for not looking forward to it.

I saw my plastic surgeon, Dr. Kiesnowski, and a genetic counselor, Bobbie McGivern, last Thursday.  The plastic surgeon exudes confidence, and was very reassuring.  I could actually get my implants right away, instead of the expanders.  That would save me weekly trips to Appleton for saline fills until I've expanded to the right size!  He said it will be like Christmas, as I won't know what I got until I wake up!  Funny man.  He will do what is best for me and my health at the time of surgery.  Bobbie was great, and did the genetic testing that day.  I should get those results next week.  She didn't see any connection to breast cancer, even though there is an awful lot of cancer in my family.  We will see.  The results are for information only, the decisions that would change will only serve to enhance my chances for survival.  I have an appointment with Dr. Salm-Schmid on Monday, and hope to get on the surgery schedule.  She will be doing the actual mastectomy, then Dr. Kiesnowski will take over with the reconstruction.  So far we are looking at the week of March 7th.  Can't be too soon for me.  I am very tired of all of this, and am looking forward to getting it over with.

Thanks to all of you for your positive thoughts and prayers.  I try very hard to remain positive and I will admit it is getting harder as I react to the chemo.  Your prayers keep me uplifted and remind me who is going to get me through this.

Love, Chris

Monday, January 17, 2011

So here it is 2 days before another treatment before I get around to the blog again.  I apologize, but the past few weeks haven't been so hot.  After my last treatment, I got a pretty bad cold that turned into a sinus infection.  I have been on antibiotics for a week, and they made me feel much better fast.  The problem is, as I was reading the material I was given about side effects of the Taxol, they pretty much mirrored the symptoms I was having, minus the head congestion.  So, did I have a cold/flu, or were they side effects?  I guess I will find out in a few days, huh? 

One of the hardest things now is how tired I am.  I don't get much done on any given day.  Dishes got done tonight, but the vacuuming has been left undone for a few days now.  I do keep up with the laundry, tho.  Clean clothes feel good!  My hands are still peeling, as the chemo attacks the skin cells.  Thursday and Friday the neuropathy got pretty bad last time, and I am not looking forward to that at all. 

January 27th I see my plastic surgeon and the genetic counselor.  Hopefully I will get an estimate of when the surgery will take place.  Dr. Morel said they will probably wait 3-4 weeks before they operate.  I hope it is not that long.  That would drive me crazy. 

Well, I will try to let you know how the next treatment goes!  Everyone around here has been so great.  I have a few new hats, and my yard is plowed every time it snows.  Roxann made tons of soup and I still have some in the freezer. I have at least 4 different rides to treatments or whatever I need.  Life is good.  Well, some parts are.  Some are pretty rotten.  But, look at the bright side.  I have a second chance at good hair and I will be perky 'til I die!  How about those thoughts to leave you with?

Love, Chris