Dance of Joy?

It is 5 days past my last treatment, and I still can't do the dance of joy.  I hurt. This chemo really sucks.  I keep telling myself that was the last one, and that this will go away, and maybe not come back.  I know it will take awhile, but this is just silly!  Anyway, surgery is March 10th in Neenah, WI.  I also found out I am a genetic freak of nature.  I have a chemical change in my DNA they found when they were looking for a mutation in the BRAC1 gene.  The lab has never seen a change in this region of the DNA EVER.  I am the first one.  Cool, huh?  They don't know if it will predispose me to cancer, but that doesn't matter right now.  Last time I checked, I already have cancer.  If they want some other organs later, they can have them.  They know it came from my mom or dad, and right now they are looking into the written information I gave them.  If they want more DNA, they will contact me.  I guess that would be from mom and dad.  Anyway, they have a genetic puzzle to solve, and I am happy to have provided it to them!

I read a great book last week called When God and Cancer Meet, by Lynn Eib.  Best thing I could have done, and wish I would have taken the time to read the book when it was first given to me.  She has another one I will purchase about living in the shadow of cancer.  She is an amazing woman, cancer survivor, and patient advocate.  I highly recommend her work to all.  It was so good to read my own words in that text.  Really, really good.

I will sign off now, as my hands are killing me!  Thanks for all the prayers, I feel them every day.
Love, Chris

Getting Ready

Here it is, 3 days after treatment #7, and I am at home.  I was at home yesterday, too. I guess you can only dump poison into your system for so long and not feel it.  Flu-like symptoms were definitely side effects of the Taxol.  I have been down since Wednesday night, and am just now starting to feel human. Only one more treatment to go, but forgive me for not looking forward to it.

I saw my plastic surgeon, Dr. Kiesnowski, and a genetic counselor, Bobbie McGivern, last Thursday.  The plastic surgeon exudes confidence, and was very reassuring.  I could actually get my implants right away, instead of the expanders.  That would save me weekly trips to Appleton for saline fills until I've expanded to the right size!  He said it will be like Christmas, as I won't know what I got until I wake up!  Funny man.  He will do what is best for me and my health at the time of surgery.  Bobbie was great, and did the genetic testing that day.  I should get those results next week.  She didn't see any connection to breast cancer, even though there is an awful lot of cancer in my family.  We will see.  The results are for information only, the decisions that would change will only serve to enhance my chances for survival.  I have an appointment with Dr. Salm-Schmid on Monday, and hope to get on the surgery schedule.  She will be doing the actual mastectomy, then Dr. Kiesnowski will take over with the reconstruction.  So far we are looking at the week of March 7th.  Can't be too soon for me.  I am very tired of all of this, and am looking forward to getting it over with.

Thanks to all of you for your positive thoughts and prayers.  I try very hard to remain positive and I will admit it is getting harder as I react to the chemo.  Your prayers keep me uplifted and remind me who is going to get me through this.

Love, Chris

Monday, January 17, 2011

So here it is 2 days before another treatment before I get around to the blog again.  I apologize, but the past few weeks haven't been so hot.  After my last treatment, I got a pretty bad cold that turned into a sinus infection.  I have been on antibiotics for a week, and they made me feel much better fast.  The problem is, as I was reading the material I was given about side effects of the Taxol, they pretty much mirrored the symptoms I was having, minus the head congestion.  So, did I have a cold/flu, or were they side effects?  I guess I will find out in a few days, huh? 

One of the hardest things now is how tired I am.  I don't get much done on any given day.  Dishes got done tonight, but the vacuuming has been left undone for a few days now.  I do keep up with the laundry, tho.  Clean clothes feel good!  My hands are still peeling, as the chemo attacks the skin cells.  Thursday and Friday the neuropathy got pretty bad last time, and I am not looking forward to that at all. 

January 27th I see my plastic surgeon and the genetic counselor.  Hopefully I will get an estimate of when the surgery will take place.  Dr. Morel said they will probably wait 3-4 weeks before they operate.  I hope it is not that long.  That would drive me crazy. 

Well, I will try to let you know how the next treatment goes!  Everyone around here has been so great.  I have a few new hats, and my yard is plowed every time it snows.  Roxann made tons of soup and I still have some in the freezer. I have at least 4 different rides to treatments or whatever I need.  Life is good.  Well, some parts are.  Some are pretty rotten.  But, look at the bright side.  I have a second chance at good hair and I will be perky 'til I die!  How about those thoughts to leave you with?

Love, Chris

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Well, that last one got me.  I had my last treatment of the two drugs on Wednesday,and by the time I got home that night, I had pretty bad skin sensitivity across the top of my back.  Throughout Thursday it escalated, but by Friday morning, I was pretty well done in.  I was weepy all day, and PJ and family changed plans and came to my house early instead of going to Auntie Roxann and Uncle Henry's.  I told him he didn't need to come babysit me, but he didn't care what I said.  Good boy I have there, huh?  I haven't felt great for over two weeks, and I really don't like that feeling!  I didn't take the steroids this time, and I wonder if that's why I had the pain I had.  The steroids were for nausea, and that has not been a problem, so I chose sleeping over preventing nausea when I hadn't had that problem.  The previous treatment, the steroids gave me insomnia and sleep-deprived Chris is not a nice girl!  The pain is now gone, I am sleeping, and only had a little nausea last night and eating oatmeal and Tums took care of that!  The next 4 treatments are a different drug, and nausea is not a side-effect, so no Emend ($110 a pill) no steroids, (Yea, I get to sleep) and longer treatment time.  I will miss those 4 Wednesdays working at the restaurant, but so far that will have been all I have missed.  On to treatment 5!

I had a great Christmas with PJ, Cassy and their boys.  They kidnapped me on Christmas Eve so I wouldn't be alone Christmas morning.  I think they wanted my orange sweet rolls I bought to enjoy all by myself.  Dad always used to make the orange ones for Jean and I because we didn't like the cinnamon rolls.  I love the cinnamon rolls now, but have to bake the orange ones for the warm fuzzy it gives me!  We took tons of pictures of Braeden and Gavin, enjoyed our rolls, and then went to Mummuu's and PaPa's house for lunch.  Great food, lots of family, and new hats from Tonya!  You should see that woman knit.  She is amazing.

I hope you all had a blessed Christmas.  Thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts, they are working!
Love, Chris

Cold and Blustery

Still feeling very well, just trying to stay warm!  Some of you are commenting on having problems with this blog, and I am trying to figure out what I am doing!!  You do not need the www before the toomuchawareness in the title,  I don't know why.  I have redone the comment part so anyone can comment, but I don't know if I've done it right!  If anyone has any ideas, please feel free to let me know.  I am thinking maybe my format is too simple, but I'm not sure. Try, try again!  Hope all is well with you all, and keep warm if you are in the midst of this storm.
Love, Chris

Three down and Five to go!

Had my third chemo treatment yesterday, and so far I feel good.  Those anti-nausea drugs are FANTASTIC!  Today I went for my Neulasta shot to keep my white blood cells in the normal range.  I told her to take it out of the refrigerator at least 1/2 hour before I got there, and what a difference!  The last one I got hurt like a !@#$% and this one didn't hurt at all.  I am a happy camper.  It snowed today, and my neighbor Jerry Saier called to let me know he will plow my driveway/yard whenever I need him to.  One of my patients offered to take me to treatments if I needed, as did another neighbor, Diane LaChapelle.  Another patient offered to clean my house or run errands if I need her to.  I sure am blessed to be around so many wonderful people.  Yesterday Cassy brought me to my treatment and PJ picked me up.  Cassy made the most wonderful chicken enchiladas!  Braeden was kneeling on my lap and put his hand right over my PowerPort and leaned up to point to something and I almost went through the roof!  I grabbed his wrist and pushed him back and told him Grandma had an owie!  He looked at me and said 'urts'?  I said yes, it really hurts!  Then I showed him the band-aid Chuck the nurse put on it so he understood.  He just kept saying 'urts'.  What a dolly.  Those boys sure great for lifting my spirits! I stayed at their house until the Ativan wore off and went home.  I'm glad I did, because I slept like a rock!  Neulasta's side effects are mainly bone pain, so we'll see how tomorrow goes!  Last time my left hip was killing me by the time I got home from working at the restaurant, but 2 Extra-Strength Tylenol took care of it.  That I can live with. 

It's been a good week.  I got a beautiful bracelet from Emily's boyfriend Aaron, a prayer shawl from my Auntie Karen, and a chemo cap and sox from my sister-in-law Tonya.  The chemo cap I knew about, because Emily bought the kit and asked Tonya to knit it for me!  If Emily would have done it my hair would have grown back before she got it done!  I love you, honey!!! The sox, however, were a wonderful surprise.  They kept my feet very warm yesterday.  I have some pretty wonderful people around me, hey? 

Thanx for all the positive thoughts and prayer, and I hope everyone is happily getting ready for Christmas and feeling as good as I do!
Love, Chris